How to establish cheating in a long distance relationship
Uncovering infidelity in a long distance relationship
Long distance relationships... what can I say about these except that I wouldn't recommend them! However, sometimes that simply isn't an obvious or immediate option. There are military families with a deployed soldier. There are students in the latter parts of their education doing internships, affiliations, residencies requiring them to go away from the main campus for a time. There are the growing number of cross-country or international relationships that develop due to any number of reasons such as the global business economy or the proliferation of internet dating sites which expand your pool of “possibles” well beyond the local singles or club scene. I've experienced first hand how a deep connection can be established over a great distance with no actual physical contact during this “get-to-know-you” phase of the relationship.
It's easier than ever with all of the electronic and cyber tools available to us. 3 hour long video chats can become more intimate than physical dates. It's pretty amazing stuff. But now that you've established the connection and the longing to be together, there is still a mountain of logistical hurdles to get over in order to see each other with any regularity. And this means often going for long periods of time without being able to physically meet. It can become difficult to keep the libido in check during these long dry spells and with your lover so far away it can be pretty easy to go astray. How do find out if a long distance affair is happening in your long distance relationship?
Discovering the Long Distance Affair
Step 1, pay close attention to the content and tone of your talks, video chats, texts, emails, and social media posts. Is he still noticing all the little details of what you say? Picking up on all of those subtle hints about what you like and don't like, how you like to be romanced, what your days are like while the two of you are apart, or any struggles you may have shared. Early on in your talks with him he seemed to hear everything and use it to relate to you on as personal a level as possible. But this seems to be slipping recently and may indicate he is losing interest and will be likely sooner or later to be looking for romantic thrills elsewhere.
Step 2, meet as many of the people in his life away from you as possible. Gauge their interaction with you and how he treats you around them. Being “in” with his inner-circle is a sure sign that he has truly let you into his life. If he doesn't want to do this and even goes to lengths to avoid it, he is still keeping you at arm's length and more than likely keeping his options open. Even if he has indicated a deeper level of affection and involvement in your past interactions. If you feel him pulling away and slightly “downgrading” the relationship you can bet he's on the prowl or already got another woman in his stable.
Step 3, If you are sure that the two of you have established an exclusive relationship at some time and you feel a strong need to put this to the test, surprise him with an unplanned visit. Maybe have something extra special planned for when you get there to mark the special nature of the occasion. If he is badly put off by this or even outright annoyed rather than pleasantly surprised you may have a problem on your hands indicating that he has been engaged in some long distance cheating.